Fantasy Top Chef Update Week 6: Odd Man(?) Out

After weeks of competition we have our final four, and it's exactly who we expected from early in the season. Somewhat surprising, as you would think that someone would get shafted somewhere, but Kevin, Bryan, Michael and Jen got though unscathed. Now they just have to get through each other. On a train.


Quick Fire Challenge

Really. A train. In Napa. That's where the next challenge is held, as Guest Chef Michael Chiarello tells the chefs they need to create a dish (on a train) featuring grapes. Did I mention they have to cook on a train? Because they do. But if they win? They totally get a Prius (which is not a train). Pretty swanky prize if you ask me!

Train.


Quick Fire Losers

Kevin (Garthmeister J., -0.5): Kevin goes for a dessert, preparing a honey and fromage blanc mousse, glazed grapes, olive oil, and sea salt. It seems the grape got lost in there, somewhere, which does Kevin in. He may have been better server cooking a hunk of pork, and then just putting a pile of grapes next to it. "Here you go, the pork is fucking awesome. Also: grapes." Should be noted that Kevin overcome motion sickness to get the dessert out. Way to man up.

Bryan (Daddy, -0.5): Bryan's dish is roasted hen, bacon, Brussels sprouts, Concord grape reduction, ruby quinoa, and arugula. There seems to be a lot of "not-grape" ingredients here, and you may have noted that one of the ingredients is "bacon"... guess which taste wins? That's right, not grape, and Bryan also does not win. Sorry Daddy.

Jen (Saunter, -0.5): This was extremely confusing. Chiarello tastes Jen's sautéed chicken livers, steamed clams, macerated Cabernet grapes, wild mushrooms, and tendrils and then promptly announces he's stealing the recipe for one of his restaurants. Jen goes "it's all yours", because that's a sweet deal right? One chicken liver recipe for one Prius. Except she doesn't win.

Wait, what?


QF Winner

Michael (Garthmeister J., +3): Despite not having a recipe that Chiarello wants to steal, Michael wins. His dish? A grape leaf stuffed with "couscous," served with a vinegar-glazed grape and scallop kebab, using a grape branch as the skewer. So apparently the challenge was "use as many grape parts as possible" rather than "make a great dish featuring grape". Sorry Jen! Read the competition rules next time, as they are clearly printed inside Chiarello's mind. More points for Garth, and more Prius for Michael.


Elimination Challenge

Do you know what a "Crush" party is? Apparently it's an excuse that wine-related people use to get drunk at the end of the harvest (or some similar-ish time... like whenever they want to get hammered). Anyhoo, the chefs are commanded to create two dishes, one meat and one vege, for 150 people, using local products.


EC Winner

Bryan (Daddy, +6): And there are some points Daddy needed! Pity it's a few weeks late, but good job. Bryan's meat dish: fig-glazed short ribs, celeriac purée, wax beans, and wild arugula. His vege dish: goat cheese ravioli, delicata squash purée and bronze fennel. The judges loved the ravioli, but seemed to think that both dishes were underseasoned, and wanted more "figginess" from the glaze. This all makes sense, since Chiarello says the winner seasoned the food "as close to perfectly as possible". And the winner is Bryan.

Wait, what? (Again).

Seriously, Chiarello seems to be nuts. The only rationale I can think of for using this "seasoned as close to perfectly as possible" nonsense is to further emphasize why the eliminated person got eliminated. Which we will get to. Shortly.


EC Losers

Michael (Garthmeister J., -1): So, who thought Michael would produce a straightforward dish? No one? Well, everyone is correct. His meat dish was turnip soup with foie gras terrine, poached pear, and glazed turnip. He vege dish was vegetable pistou, heirloom tomato coulis, 63 degree egg, and fennel. Michael's turnip dish looked amazing, and apparently it tasted great, though the proportions were off. The vege dish wasn't a hit; there were complaints about the veges being too fine, and the egg not working out. Also: I think Gail kind of hated Michael.

Kevin (Garthmeister J., -1): The dishes in question: grass-fed brisket with pumpkin polenta and marinated root vegetables (meat) and roasted beets and carrots with carrot top puree and San Andreas cheese (vege). Despite my haranguing Kevin to always use meat, it was his vege dish which was the star and the brisket which let him down. The judges' initial responses (meat was ropey, meat was "tinny" - I mean, that sounds BAD) seemed a bit of a head fake, though that has to be balanced by the fact that they all adored his vege dish. But hey, for some reason I thought tinny, ropey meat might get someone eliminated at this stage.

Eliminated: Jen (Saunter, -1 for being a loser, +10 for 4th place): Strange. On one hand, Gail almost instantly complained about the saltiness of her duck (grilled duck breast, braised duck legs, squash purée, and foie gras vinaigrette), but then everyone claimed to love the "duckiness" of the dish. Her vege dish seemed to be taken well (chèvre mousse with honey mushrooms, braised radishes, and basil), though mostly because Chiarello has never eaten cheese and basil together, despite being a professional chef. Seriously, what the hell is up with Chiarello? The way the show was edited, it seemed the death knell for Jen was that she was originally planning to grill the duck over coals, but the coals were too cool; thus instead of being rewarded for realising she was in trouble and going for a great Plan B, she was shafted. And thus explodes Saunter's last chef, netting her 10 points for finishing in 4th.

But worry not, my munchkins, I think I have the answer for this bewildering episode (other than Chiarello being insane): poor editing. Reading the blogs of Tom and Gail , it was clear to them that as soon as they tasted the food that Jen was going home. Given that info, I have to think that either the judges were really reaching for criticism of the other chefs, or that the editors tried to disguise the outcome as much as possible. After all, if Gail takes one bite of Jen's food and goes "well, she's going home", who stays until the end of the episode?

BUT! (hey, another "but", awesome) this still doesn't explain Chiarello's "seasoned the food as close to perfectly as possible" comment, even if they were trying to emphasise the reason for Jen getting the boot. Just very strange all round, without including the rest of the Guest Judge's random actions.


League Table

Garthmeister J.: 40.5 (+0.5)
Saunter: 21.5 (+8.5)
Daddy: 13.5 (+5.5)


And Garthmeister J. officially locks up 1st place! Even if Bryan wins out that only adds 56 points to Daddy's total, bringing him to 69.5. The two runner-ups would receive a total of 53 points for Garth (20+35 for 2nd and 3rd - which would be split between the two - minus one point each for losing), bringing him to 93.5. That means with the finale still to play out, our leaderboard is set: Garth takes 1st, Daddy takes 2nd, and Saunter takes 3rd. This also means that we are all free to cheer for who we like in the finale, though I have to wonder if weeks of cheering Kevin and Michael on will get in the way of Garth embracing Bryan fandom...

Fantasy Top Chef Update Week 6: Higher, Faster, Stronger

Oh, we're almost there. Will we see the final four be the same chefs identified from about week 2? Or will the Dark Horse Eli gate-crash the party? At least Robin got the boot, after dodging the axe for almost the entire season.

Quick Fire Challenge

The guest chef this week is Gavin Kaysen, who represented the USA in the "Culinary Olympics" aka the Bocuse D'Or. I have never heard of such a thing, but apparently it's a "pretty big deal". Apparently in the competition Kaysen made a ballotine: a protein-in-a-protein-in-a-protein-in-a-protein-in-a-protein-in-a-protein, or something like that. Yes, the obvious thought is of a turducken, the turkey/duck/chicken creation that John Madden used to talk about every Thanksgiving (aside: I wonder if the pre-Thanksgiving timing of this episode was coincidental? Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's coincidental).


QF Losers

Note: since there are only four chefs left, there is one winner, and all the rest are losers by default.

Michael (-0.5, Garthmeister J.): Arrogant as ever, Michael decided he would do a terrine (basically layered pressed meat), rather than a ballotine. Apparently Chef Kaysen is not going to let any other chef out-arrogant him, and shoots down Michael instantly for not making the correct dish. Face!

Kevin (-0.5, Garthmeister J.): Kevin's dish featured catfish, shrimp, and scallop. Did you pick out Kevin's failing? That's right, he used seafood. FAIL. Apparently his catfish was also a little dry.

Eli (-0.5, Saunter): Eli's dish was a bit out of left field for me: bacon-crusted breakfast sausage with a six-minute egg. At first blush this seemed a bit like the odd-dish-out, but apparently Kaysen liked the concept... just not enough to make Eli the winner.

Bryan (-0.5, Daddy): Pop quiz: would you like a rack of lamb and some Merguez sausage wrapped in caul fat? I dunno, I wouldn't want to commit to it before tasting some. Apparently it was well executed, but still ends up with a big L for Bryan and Daddy.


QF Winner

Jen (+3, Saunter): Again bemoaning her recent crapitude, Jen decided to make a command decision to return to her roots: seafood. Upon tasting the calamari, scallops, and salmon dish Padma says "Welcome back,", and Kaysen welcomes Jen back to the winner's circle.


Elimination Challenge

For the Elimination Challenge the chefs are informed they will be competing in a cut-down version of the Bocuse D'Or. They will have to produce something called a "regal presentation platter", with a protein and two garnishes. I only wish I knew what that was. The judges? A bunch of Bocuse D'Or related folks, including the son of the founder... and also Thomas Keller. No pressure!


EC Winner

Kevin (Garthmeister J., +6): In a bit of a shock, Kevin takes home the prize in a contest you thought would favour the more fancy-pantsed chefs. Not so! The K-man does this thing, cooking great food, and even decides to experiment with sous vide to up the difficulty rating. Kevin obtains $30k(!), a chance to compete to represent the US in the real Bocuse D'or, and nabs Garth another 6 points.


EC Losers

As there is only one winner, everyone else is a loser.

Bryan (Daddy, -1): Daddy loses points, which is the last thing he needs. Frustrating, as Bryan probably would have taken home the prize if he had time to properly finish his dish. The elder Volt definitely did seem flustered, but even in defeat he showed the class that could cause him to loom in the finals.

Michael (Garthmeister J., -1): Probably the odds-on favourite to take this EC out, Michael managed to flounder by going for a Mediterranean theme that did not quite match the components. Making a dish that doesn't come together is rare for Michael, and he certainly didn't seem happy about the outcome. No need for Garth to worry at this stage; Michael is sure to punching on going forward.

Jen (Saunter, -1): Jen had an extra half hour to cook, the reward for winning the Quick Fire, but it wasn't enough to allow her to win the challenge. She continues to go the fish route, being smart and playing to her strengths, but it still wasn't enough. Nonetheless, encouraging signs for Saunter.

Eliminated: Eli (Saunter, -1): The valiant Eli finally goes down. He seemed a little overmatched in this challenge, and his concerns about being sloppy were not unfounded. Saunter 's hopes of having a second chef sneak into the top four are dashed, and she is left to pin all her hopes on Jen... a dicey proposition at best.


League Table

Garthmeister J. : 40.0 (+4.0)
Saunter: 13.0 (+0.5)
Daddy: 8.0 (-1.5)

After the dust settles and the final four is announced Garth has pretty much locked up the trophy, depending on whether the final episode has three chefs (as expected) or goes heads up, but it looks over at this point.

UPDATE: Casting Call for the Luckbox Last Longer Challenge

UPDATE: It looks like I will be joining the brothers Penner, in the team provisionally named "Geek Nation". You guys are going to get out-coded so badly.

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God Bless the kind folks at PokerStars, and God Bless CJ (who I have never met, actually) for organising the Luckbox Last Longer Challenge. I see the teams are signing up, which is great, except for one thing... I'm not in one yet! I am not on The FaceBook or The Twitter, so don't know exactly who out of the remaining tournament attendees are still unattached.

So! If you are:

a) intending to play the WPBT
b) not yet committed to a Last Longer team
c) would like to ensure that your team is at least 1/3 Australian
d) don't mind if at least 1/3 of your team is not very good at poker

send me a note in the comments, or by alternative technologies (and by alternative I mean not The FaceBook or The Twitter), and we'll see if we can get this party started.

Not convinced? Check out my additional live tournament poker credentials!

• Finished in 50th or so of 209* entrants in the $1000 2-7 Triple Draw Lowball (Limit) w/Rebuys at the 2007 WSOP**
• Finished in 4th place in a charity tournament at the Hard Rock in 2008 that featured a humongous list of Pros***

Not yet impressed?

* Yes, "50th or so". Poker rewards those with a keen mathematical mind who show attention to detail.

** WPBT event is not a 2-7 Triple Draw Lowball event, so don't expect me to just magically finish in the top quarter of the field. Just saying.

*** Please note: I crippled myself when 4-handed in a battle of the blinds, when I managed to get it all-in against Chip Jett with Q7s. Sure, Chip had 66, but still... ever had a tournament director announcing your action at a final table, and having it sound like this: "And Garthmeister J. is all-in! Chip Jett calls... Garthmeister shows Q7 suited". No? Want to live vicariously through someone who has?

Fantasy Top Chef Update Week 5: Finally!

A bit tardy with the review of last week's episode, but I am a tardy man. From the starting 17 we are down to 6, and amazingly one of these six is Robin. Given the overall talent level of this season, this is some kind of craziness. Could this be the week she goes home? Please say yes!


Quick Fire Challenge

The chefs head to the Venetian, and are blind-sided by Padma and Nigell Lawson calling the kitchen and demanding room service, in this case some breakfast in bed. Aren't they fancy! Yes, Padma and Nigella are being very fancy indeed. The extra wrinkle is they only have half an hour, so there isn't much room for screwing up.


QF Losers

Robin (Garthmeister J., -0.5): Seriously, every time I write about the losers I can just type in Robin's name without thinking. She is continuously scattered, ill-prepared, and amazingly annoying. This time her crap dish is blintz with goat cheese, caramelized pineapple, and blueberries. I'm pretty sure she said at one point this is her specialty, which makes sense, since her other specialty is sucking. Right now Garth is just praying she gets eliminated before she loses too many points for him, and also causes him to shoot his TV.

Bryan (Daddy, -0.5): Bryan misfires on this one, with his four-minute egg with vanilla buerre fondue, crab, asparagus spears, and corn polenta. The consensus here seems to be "you screwed yourself with the vanilla, dude". Bryan has seemed a little shaky at the moment, but maybe the pressure is getting to everyone (except Robin, who is going to be crap no matter what). Daddy not only doesn't need Bryan causing his total to go down... he really needs Bryan bringing home wins.


QF Winners

Kevin (Garthmeister J., +1): This dude will not quit with the awesome food. This time it's steak and eggs with crème fraiche, aged cheddar, and green onion. Of all the dishes I saw, this is the one I wanted to eat. Kevin + meat = win. Ignoring of course last week, when apparently Kevin - meat = win also. So solving this parallel equations, we... sorry, I can't concentrate, too hungry.

Overall QF Winner: Eli (Saunter, +3): Eli! The big man is making his run, taking home the gold for his fried egg Reuben Benedict with Thousand Island Hollandaise sauce. Points for originality there! Can Saunter bank on Eli being a contender, in case Jen continues to flame out?


Elimination Challenge

For the elimination challenge the chefs all draw knives, getting the name of a casino that they are meant to base a dish on, to serve at a party for 175 people. I was intently watching to see if anyone would get the Imperial Palace, but apparently they didn't flash the big bucks, as they didn't make the cut. The breakdown went like this: Michael (New York, New York), Robin (Bellagio), Bryan (Mandalay Bay), Eli (Circus Circus), Jen (Excalibur), Kevin (Mirage). Seems to me the odd ones out are Eli and Jen, with the "Tier 2" casinoes. On the other hand, I have no idea what I would be making if I had the Bellagio or the Mirage to work with.


Elimination Winners

Bryan (Daddy, +2): Bryan's escabeche of halibut with bouillabaisse consommé, pine nuts, parsley coulis, and garlic chips was good, but not quite good enough. And is it just me, or do a lot of the dishes Bryan has been cooking involve garlic chips?

Kevin (Garthmeister J., +2): Somewhat surprisingly, Kevin does NOT win a challenge. His wild Alaskan sockeye salmon cured in salt and sugar with Napa cabbage and cucumber was a hit, however, particularly the broth component of the dish. I think the issue here was that Kevin didn't use red meat. Maybe I have to adjust my formulas.

Overall EC Winner: Michael (Garthmeister J, +6): Frankly, this isn't fair. If Kevin doesn't win a challenge for Garth, it's Michael swooping in. The dish that scored for him this time was a boneless chicken wing confit with curry and fresh pepper juice and a blue cheese disc. This is a "Buffalo Wings" remix, which is somewhat confusing, as the casino was "New York, New York", not "Buffalo, New York". I wonder what that casino would have, anyway. A lot of fake snow, empty steel factories, and a bunch of "AFC Champion" flags?


EC Losers

Jennifer (Saunter, -1): Once again Jennifer strikes out, somehow messing up her Excalibur-inspired "sword-in-the-stone" New York strip with a red wine reduction, beets, truffles, and herbs. She continues to fall apart, to Saunter's dismay.

Eli (Saunter, -1): So much for the comeback. The weird thing is that Eli seemed really confident overall, but then proceeded to produce this: aramel apple peanut soup with popcorn and raspberry froth. I mean, seriously. How does this sound like a good idea? Eli seemed to have got hung up on the challenge parameters, got fixated on a bad idea, and then promptly imploded. To be honest, I was astounded he wasn't eliminated for this train-wreck of a dish.

Eliminated: Robin (Garthmeister J., -1): Oh happy day! Robin goes down, finally! Her downfall was she made a panna cotta, with intent of making a glass-like garnish, mimicking the Dale Chihuly sculpture in the Bellagio, but she totally screwed up the glass and didn't use it. In addition, she totally screwed up the panna cotta. (Side note: has anyone on Top Chef actually made a panna cotta that anyone liked?). Despite her failure of execution, I still really thought Eli was out of here... but I am glad the judges stole Robin. Oh yeah, it cost Garth another point, blah blah blah, DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD.


League Table

Garthmeister J: 36.0 (+7.5)
Saunter: 12.5 (+1)
Daddy: 9.5 (+1.5)


Garth continues to streak ahead, riding his big horses, while finally getting rid of his ballast. Saunter now has to be concerned about Eli and Jen; can the bounce back? Again? And same old story for Bryan: Daddy needs winners.

Garth is actually getting close to taking the title outright, without the competition completing. If eliminations go his way in the near future we may be able to crown an Inaugural Top Chef Fantasy champion!

Fantasy Top Chef Update Week 4: Whatever, Whatever

Last week Top Chef decided to have this "special" with chefs of the last five seasons cooking and whinging at each other, which they obviously did since I hadn't written up a summary of the Fantasy Top Chef action. Let's amend that, shall we?


Quick Fire Challenge

As part of the corporate tie-ins (this week: TV Guide), each chef drew knives for the name of a TV show, for which they had to produce a spin on "TV Dinner" for Padma and guest chef Paul Bartalotta.

The chefs were as follows: Robin (Sesame Street), Michael V. (Cheers), Jen (The Flintstones), Eli (Gilligan's Island), Bryan (M.A.S.H), Mike I. (Seinfeld). Somehow Mike I. claims to have never seen Seinfeld, which he really should have been instantly eliminated for. Foreshadowing?

I kind of wish they had The Wire in here. What would be your TV dinner then? A fifth of cheap scotch and some crack?

QF Losers

Robin (Garthmeister J., -0.5): At this stage I should just pencil in Robin's name until she gets eliminated. Her burger is dry, and that's the element of fail for this most annoying chef. Garth once again can't believe he didn't pick Ash.

Jennifer (Saunter, -0.5): Jennifer strikes out again in a Quick Fire. Right now we don't know whether Jen is going to get her act together, or end up being eliminated on any given challenge. She's been adrift for a few weeks now, as have Saunter's chances of taking out the league.


QF Winners

Bryan (Daddy, +1): Daddy snares another point from his sole remaining horse, Bryan, who scores with his meatloaf, mashed potato, asparagus, and apple tarte tatin. Though Daddy needs Bryan to hang around, he also needs the big man to score.

Overall QF Winner: Kevin (Garthmeister J., +3): Domination. To be fair, I think whoever drew "The Sopranos" had a leg up on the competition, but his meatballs with polenta, roasted cauliflower, and roasted pear scored big time.


Elimination Challenge

The Elimination Challenge was a classic bait and switch. The chefs were told that they were going to use Tom Colicchio's restaurant, Craftsteak, so naturally they all get psyched about what meat they are going to cook. Which is then squashed by guest judge Natalie Portman, who is extremely hot, and also a Vegetarian.

Cue the sad horns.


Elimination Winners

Michael V. (Garthmeister J., +2): Michael again goes with the craziness, serving asparagus salad, Japanese tomato sashimi, and banana polenta. His dish confuses, yet delights, and someone refers to him as "Picasso", bringing the "someone-refers-to-Michael-Volt-as-Picasso" count to 2. This guy is genuinely pissed he didn't win outright though, and is definitely shaping up as this season's villain.

Eli (Saunter, +2): Eli continues to blossom, serving confit of eggplant, creamed lentils, spring garlic puree, and radish salad with wild herbs. He won an important coinflip with Jen and got to use the eggplant he wanted, which definitely paid off. The question for Saunter is whether Eli is starting to edge Jen as the top chef in her stable?

Overall EC Winner: Kevin (Garthmeister J., +6): Yes, it's Kevin, once again. This time he wins for a non-meat dish, but apparently he and his wife go meat-free every Lent. Religion, paying off for the big man! To be honest, his duo of mushrooms (morel and Hen of the Woods), smoked kale, candied garlic, and turnip puree looked pretty unappetizing, but he hit a home run with the taste. Kevin is singlehandedly ruunning away with this competition for Garth.


Elimination Challenge Losers:

Robin (Garthmeister J., -1): Cue Garth shaking his fist at the sky and yelling "Robin!" Once again this chef is bad enough to be in the bottom three, but not bad enough to be eliminated. This time her key failure was getting over-excited about all the produce, not knowing what direction to go in, and deciding to do things she had never decided to do before. OK, maybe that's three things. What can I tell you, she sucks.

Jen (Saunter, -1): Jen continues her death-spiral, serving charred baby eggplant, braised fennel, tomato coins with wild coriander and verjus nage, which appears to be more of a side dish than a main meal. Saunter has to be panicking now.

Eliminated: Mike I. (Saunter, -1): In something of a shock, Mike I. gets the boot for his whole roasted leeks with onion jus, baby carrot puree, and fingerling potatoes with fresh radish and dill. He clearly screwed up his leeks, and it probably wasn't a good idea to begin with.


League Table

Garthmeister J.: 28.5 (+9.5)
Saunter: 11.5 (-0.5)
Daddy: 8.0 (+2)

Garth continues to ride Kevin's momentum, despite the ballast of Robin. All of a sudden Saunter's stable of steady contributors has been torpedoed, with her relying on Jen to turn it around and for Eli to continue his emergence. And Daddy? All Bryan, all the time, though he needs some big points and a deep run from his main man.

Fantasy Top Chef Update Week 3: Master of the House

It was clear from the ads for this week's episode that it was going to be the much anticipated "Restaurant Wars", where the remaining chefs split off into two teams and create a restaurant from scratch in three and a half hours. Fun times!

Quick Fire Challenge

For the Quick Fire challenge, everyone drew knives to be "Team Captains". Jen was the captain of the first team, and after some deliberation chose Kevin. Michael V., the other captain, instantly picked his brother Bryan. The teams ended up as so:

Team Jen: Jen (Saunter), Kevin (Garth), Mike I. (Saunter), Laurine (Daddy)
Team Volt: Michael V. (Garth), Bryan (Daddy), Eli (Saunter), Robin (Garth)

As luck would have it, Daddy's picks were spread out across two teams. Team Jen is also Team Saunter, while Team Volt is Team Garth.

For the challenge itself, each team had to create a dish by taking 10-minute turns. The non-cooking chefs would be blind-folded. And NO TALKING. Craziness!

In a clever move (if it was intentional), Team Jen produced a fish dish that seemed to please the fish-inclined guest chef (Rick Moonen). As there was no single chef winner, all chefs on Team Jen are awarded +1. All chefs on Team Volt were deducted 0.5. In the washup, Saunter picked up 1.5 points, while Garth and Daddy broke even.


Elimination Challenge

As mentioned above, the EC this week was "Restaurant Wars". The two teams from the QF challenge were retained, Team Jen naming their restaurant "Mission" and electing to have Laurine run the front of the house, while Team Volt (stupidly) went for REVolt and (smartly) had Eli run the front of the house. Both Eli and Laurine would also be responsible for a dish (though they would not cook it), as well as managing things out front.


Elimination Winners

REVolt seemed to have gotten all of their mediocrity out in the name of their restaurant. Other than the moniker, Colicchio thought that this was the best effort that they had seen during a "Restaurant Wars" challenge.

Bryan (Daddy, +2): Bryan fought for his ganache as a dessert, despite it flaming out in a previous EC, but the spearmint ice cream he served with it was a big hit. His mains dish also seemed to be served underheated, which was not a good sign. He also had a hand in Eli's arctic char dish, which didn't impress. And to top it all off, he had a bit of bickering with his brother, though it seemed just about everyone fought with the younger Volt. Daddy has to be disappointed that his Big Dog didn't bring home more points, but it's better than nothing.

Eli (Saunter, +2): Eli was something of a revelation running the front of the house. He explained dishes well, was able to joke over the odd mishap, and in general seemed in control of things. His dish (the aforementioned arctic char) wasn't a hit, but he otherwise contributed solidly to the restaurant.

Robin (Garthmeister J., +2): In a smart decision, REVolt decided to also reprise a dish done previously in an EC, though Robin's apple crisp has actually done well. This time they decided to have Robin do a pear crisp. Despite Robin and Michael V. having a little spat, the dessert was well received by the judges. Garth has to be ecstatic here that he has gotten a positive return from Robin.

Overall EC Winner: Michael V. (Garthmeister J., +6): Michael was rewarded by the judges for his chicken appetizer and his cod main (which looked amazing), but if the judges had been privy to all the back-stage goings on it was clear he was the driving force anyway. Interestingly, Colicchio blogged about how he liked Michael V's manner. His prickliness may still cause him some pain, but for now he is racking up points for Garth.


Elimination Losers

Team Jen went with the better name "Mission", but that was it for them. It seemed like Team Jen were just unorganised all over, spacing out the dishes badly, choosing not to have a dessert course... just not well planned.

Jen (Saunter, -1): Once again Jen fails to impress. Perhaps it was the whole team's fault for agreeing to stick her with two fish mains, but it seemed that she was forever behind prep, and was forced to cook clams to order, which was death. In particular her trout was terrible. She could have dodged a bullet by not being sent home, which could have spelled the end for Saunter.

Kevin (Garthmeister J., -1) A rare trip to the bottom of things for Kevin. Despite his excellent pork dish (the man knows pig!) he seemed to really undercook his lamb. This could have been because he was doing two meat dishes at the same time, which spelled doom for Jen also. Having said that, he never looked like being in the running for elimination, and Garth will just have to suck up the negative points.

Mike I. (Saunter, -1) Mike probably should have run the front of the house, using his powers for Good not Evil (similar to Eli running things for REVolt). Mike's Artic char tartare and asparagus and egg are simple dishes (though the tartare was underseasoned), and seemed to almost guarantee that he would neither win, nor be eliminated.

Eliminated: Laurine (Daddy, -1) And Daddy loses another chef! Laurine had seemed on borrowed time, and her performance managing the restaurant was atrocious. When you get called back by the judges to explain the dishes you just served... well, that's not a good sign. In some ways this puts Daddy out of his misery, as he has everything ride on Bryan.


League Table

Garthmesiter J.: 19.0 (+7.0)
Saunter: 12.0 (+1.5)
Daddy: 6.0 (+1.0)


A dominating week for Garth, as he once again picks up an Elimination Challenge win, the Kevin/Michael V. duo performing marvellously. Saunter is still lurking, though she needs Jen to lift her game. Daddy is all aboard the Bryan train, and needs a deep finish to have a chance of taking this thing out.

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Pauly and Nicky have gotten the Fantasy Top Chef bug as well! In case you missed it, check out their recap of last week's episode.

Fantasy Top Chef Update Week 2: Ashes to Ashes

Ah, Top Chef - what would I do without you? In "previous cheftestant news", Dr Pauly sent me along a link to an interview with the man: check it out.

On with the show (recap)!


Quick Fire Challenge

Charlie Palmer, ex-boss of the Volt brothers, is the guest chef. I had actually heard that he would be on the show, and panicked that it might mean that both the Volt brothers would have to be eliminated before he appeared; fortunately this seemed not to be the case (this also means we might see Eric Ripert again, who Jen has/is working with). It's quite possible the Volt brothers will be marked harder than the others, so we'll see how it shakes out.

The actual challenge is to create a pairing with the first product placement that I can recall seeing this year. The product? Some chips I have never heard of, which come in different flavours, and the chefs can choose whichever type they like. Apparently they have had them at the Chef House, so the assumption here is they are not coming to this completely cold.


QF Losers

Robin (Garthmeister J., -0.5): Robin strikes once again, and Garth loses again. Robin made a sweet corn pannacotta with avocado mousseline, paired with the jalapeno flavoured chip. This doesn't sound good, didn't look good... no surprises that she comes up short. Again.

Ash (None): Garth breathes a sigh of relief, as the two bottom feeders once again feed off the bottom - no matter who he chose at the end of the draft, he was boned. Ash, despite vowing to "make his food", makes chilled cucumber avocado soup with crème fraiche, crab, and red pepper, paired with the BBQ flavoured chips. Guess what? Tasted weird, and Ash ends up in the loser's lounge. Again.

Jen (Saunter, -0.5): For the second QF in a row Jen is unconfident, and ends up bottom in the QF with her overdone pork chop. Saunter can't be happy with Jen's QF results, which looked more promising earlier in the season.


QF Winners

Bryan (Daddy, +1): FINALLY Daddy makes some kind of an impact in the Quick Fires, striking paydirt with Bryan's rib eye dish (despite Charlie calling it "safe"). Also safe? The point that Daddy gets to lock up.

Kevin (Garthmeister J., +1): Garth's first pick continues to roll, scoring with his take on a green bean casserole. Of note? All three winners used the onion-flavoured chip. Smart, or just tastier?

Overall QF Winner: Eli (Saunter, +3): And Eli strikes it big for Saunter! This is where Saunter's drafting position and strategy paid off: her final pick (and seventh overall) was Eli. His ability to produce, and perhaps not suck too badly, might pay off healthy dividends. Is it possible he could go deep, as a dark horse? It's not out of the question at this point.


After the Quick Fire, Saunter was the big winner, picking up 2.5 points to add to her lead. Daddy followed, with his single point collected via Bryan's efforts. Garthmeister J. was left with a lonely half point, Robin's suckitude torpedoing Kevin's cuisine.


Elimination Challenge

Ever heard of Pigs and Pinot? No? Well, I bet you wish you had now. This is some annual shindig that Charlie Palmer puts together, and I am pretty sure Daddy has booked for 2010 already. The chefs draw knives for a piece of the pig. Jen gets the wild card knife (card knife? knife card? whatever) and chooses pork belly, because she is not a moron. Pork bellies roooooooooooool. The chefs then do a pinot testing, and take turns selecting Pinots to pair with their dishes. Oh yeah: they have to serve 150 portions of their dishes. I wonder how many bottles of Pinot that is? Eh, who cares, it sounds awesome.

Seriously, dudes. Pigs and Pinot. I'm so there.


Elimination Winners

Bryan (Daddy, +2): Daddy's Big Gun Bryan once again bags a kill, this time with his braised pork ribs. And it looks like Daddy needs Bryan to keep scoring, since it is not clear if Laurine is going to add anything positive to the ledger any time soon.

Michael V. (Garthmeister J., +2): Michael gets his groove back with his braised pork cheeks dish, despite braising it in root beer (which instantly caused Garth to recoil in fear). Seriously, the man scored using root beer. As long as the younger Volt doesn't out-reach himself, he looks solid with his creative choices.

Jen (Saunter, +2): Jen bounces back (again) from her poor QF showing, though this time she did not bring home the bacon (yeah, puns are fun). Her pork belly dish, braising using soy sauce, lifted her out of her pork belly funk. Now let's see if she can be a little more consistent and bring it in both challenges.

Overall EC Winner: Kevin (Garthmeister J., +6): Seriously this man is a machine. He should almost be banned from any challenge involving pork, as he will destroy all comers. At this moment Garth was pretty confident, while hoping that Robin did not screw up (again) or at least was eliminated.


Elimination Challenge Losers

Robin (Garthmeister J., -1): Nope! Robin's dish brined center cut chop was a failure, surprise! I think if we learned something from this dish, it's "if you are not Kevin, braise your pork". I mean, does brined pork sound good? Hells no. However, this week it seems that her dish is mediocre, and not catastrophic, and she stays another week. Sorry Garth.

Laurine (Daddy, -1): Laurine sticks around, despite serving up something that judges described as being like cat food, and furthermore despite Charlie Palmer telling her that she doesn't know how to make the dish ("rillette"). And yes, she sticks around! Yikes. It's hard to tell whether Daddy is happy or sad with this result; losing Laurine means he is down to betting it all on Bryan, but at this stage that might be a good thing.

Eliminated: Ash (None): Despite vowing to make "his food", Ash does not make "his food", and the judges have finally had enough of his junk. Garth breaks something cheap, as it appears that his "Robin over Ash" strategy has backfired, unless the mouthy older chef can pull some results out of her chef's hat. Which does not look likely at this stage.


League Table

Garthmeister J.: 12.0 (+7.5)
Saunter: 9.5 (+4.5)
Daddy: 5.0 (+2.0)


Right now Garth and Saunter have opened up a gap on Daddy, but this is due more to each of them picking up an Elimination Challenge win. If Bryan has won this week's challenge instead of Kevin, there would be a logjam on the leaderboard. Having said that, Saunter and Daddy have to be hoping that one of Garth's big horses, Kevin or Michael V., take a spill as they are beginning to produce. It appears from the promos that once again the Volt brothers are getting into it, so the question is: will a big name go down?